This led my thoughts to my sister Kym and my Mom. My Mom was this very strong woman who taught me respect and how to survive. She must have worried a lot like I do, she must've worked so hard in life that being tired led to needing to find solace in some kind of escapism. I think of my sister who was always looking for love in all the wrong places to only find dissapointment. An unearthing sadness that still haunts my bones just as my Mom does. My sister felt like a dissapointment is what she told me. She needed to be found, she needed to be loved unconditionally. Her unending wandering and drifting was a soul searching. She had moments of enlightenment where she would come down. She could calm her storm long enough to really live a life of love without an escape plan. These women were intelligent in their own right.
I come from a lineage of escapism which is perhaps why I have such a gypsy soul. I think the words escapism and intelligence really go together. Some of us are lucky to have a sense of mindfulness and discipline to be able to be in the moment to not need to escape where some of us need an escapism. Our intelligence can work for us or against us. Because of the things I've witnessed I think it's created an innate worry for people's escapisms. Wandering can either create a brainstorm of inspiration for our intelligence or it can create a true sense of wandering to get lost and lose all aspects of time and space. Granted I'm guilty of the occasional wandering to get lost but the older I get the more I want to wander to find my true self and the beautiful presence that can result in that vast space. Namaste'
